Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
