i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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