tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
