as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
