If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
