Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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