The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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