It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
