**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
