Dual....:-)
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
