I'm jealous of your bromance
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
