Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
