not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
