Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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