Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
