I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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