well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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