my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
