I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
