Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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