If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
