Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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