There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
