And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize