drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
