Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We talked him into tasing himself.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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