Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
