how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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