He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
50% drunk capacity currently
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
