Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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