margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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