she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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