Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
