Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
