I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
