so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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