If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
