obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
