They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
