All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Drunk is not a location!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
