well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
