I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
