Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
