I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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