They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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