I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
