She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
