literally had 100 drinks last night.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
COCAINE IS GR8
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
