The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
