So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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