He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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