Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
