We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
