haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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