Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
