I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
